He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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