Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
