I CAN MOONWALK!
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You were trust falling into bushes
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
