3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
