return my video game
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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