he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
