tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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