we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
