I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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