Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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