her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
