Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
