i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
