i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
