Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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