I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We got so high we made milksteak
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
