evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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