Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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