I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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