No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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