Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
