I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
