Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Blow job season was short but glorious.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
