My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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