No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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