I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
