just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
