So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
