you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
