so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
