So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
