Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
