dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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