i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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