everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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