if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
