so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
