Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
