I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
