I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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