Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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