i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
