I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
