I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
