you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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