I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
