It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
do herpes really smell.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
