She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
