why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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