my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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