8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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